"Ohhh... Woe to me"

First of all, if anyone can name this movie, you will have earned yourself cool points in my book. This has been a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad week. Now, I thought I'd throw myself a bit of a pity party here. Anyone wanna come? It might get a bit gross, though. This is all stuff that has happened to me this week. IN. ONE. WEEK. (probably not in order, though)

~my tooth is still hurting and I'm waiting for insurance to kick in to get a root canal
~bronchitis
~thought it might be pnemonia since I felt I was drowning in my mucas (and I've had bronchitis my whole life, and it was nothing like this)
~turns out to be just bronchitis
~fluid behind my ears, so naturally some loss of hearing and popping EVERY time I blow my nose
~burning with urination-possible bladder infection
~doc. says yes, bladder infection
~takes me 3 days to get my meds (since we're trying to share one car)
~within this time, my kidneys start hurting and I have a low-grade fever and ZERO energy (possible kidney infection)
~doc. says no kidney infection, but is concerned that I can feel my kidneys. runs blood work. blood work fine, and says my bladder infection has passed on it's own
~within 3 HOURS of being home, I'm sitting cross-legged and notice I have a lump on, well, the most sensitive area of a women's body? (are you with me?)
~the lump is tender. i watch it for 2 days
~go to the doc. because, well, lumps are NEVER a good thing
~doc. says he's not completely sure what it is, but it's not cancerous, and to put hot compresses on it and that should help
~put hot compresses on it (oooo, fun) and it gets MUCH MUCH WORSE!
~now it hurts to sit, lay down, move, not move, EVERYTHING! and it's a whole lot bigger
~on my way to Adam's funeral and get a flat tire
~on my way home, stop in and ask the instacare nurse what to do. says it sounds like it's abseessed and I'll need it lanced. (uhhhhh.... excuse me?)
~says the instacare doc. isn't always comfortable with that (it's saturday) and to just go to ER to have it done
~go to ER and the doc. and nurse are scratching their heads. They have no idea what it is. but they feel the need (of course) to push on it and poke it and move it around
~doc. goes to find the OB on call at the hospital since she has NO IDEA
~thinking it will have to be lanced, she orders morphine for me ahead-of-time
~i have a reaction to the morphine. my neck goes completely stiff, and I get the shakes that feel like post-labor
~they give me benadryl
~OB doc. says he thinks it's an extension of a yeast infection but to come back on tuesday (today) to check it out again
~(Monday) not sure if it's from the morphine or a stomach virus, but I have stomach pain/cramps and constipation, then diahrea
~go in for my sedated root canal (since I tried having this tooth worked on before and kept dry heaving- stupid gag reflex of mine!)
~Instead of just working on one tooth (to save money) i had to have THREE worked on because my bottom tooth started hurting just 2 days BEFORE! UGH!
~turns out I have to go BACK in in a week for my permanant crown (yeah, I keep calling the office to find out WHY it wasn't permanant to begin with)
~I have to go in today and have them file down all three fillings. They are overlapping my gums, and my gums are SO swollen. I can't even bite down, because my swollen gums hit each other first.
~And last and NOT least,,, I woke up with a sore throat. (and NO, I'm not over my bronchitis)

Okay, I think that's about it. I'm sure you're all done hearing me complain anyways, but there you have it. NEXT WEEK BETTER BE BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1